A handful of folks here know that we suffered a death in the extended family this year. This was after a few years of a struggle with various medical issues, etc. The other day I went to support a friend at his Mom's funeral. I didn't even know the lady, but I know my buddy was genuinely glad that some of his friends showed up even for just a little bit. They had a full on funeral and I think that's an important part of the process. We didn't due to the last wishes of the person that died. The result was that it was several months before many felt any closure on it. My family has always been hard workers and it's always been about getting things done and staying busy. So no matter how I tried to get people to just chill out, talk about what happened, etc. It never went very far. I was contrasting the numbness I felt from my buddy with the same thing I felt afterwards. Kind of like "just going through the motions" type of deal. Your "there" but your really not. My buddy will likely have some time off work, spend some time with his extended family, etc. I had to keep busy, all of us did, albeit mostly by our own choosing. It still "hits you" just not in the same way. If anything it may draw it out?? The fact of the matter is that ALL of us deal with death differently, and that's something we should be aware of for what we are doing with preparedness. Some really can't or don't want to sit and play kumbaya right afterwards, instead they might be the very ones that say "I'll dig the grave." Let them, or offer to help and keep your mouth shut. Let them speak first. One of my brothers commented a few weeks later after we had done some work on his place "I get so sick of people coming up to me in Pawville (his home town, formerly mine also) and hugging me and talking to me about Dad. Then they all want to tell their story of losing someone." I started to tell him that's how some people relate but stopped myself, just smiled and let him talk more. Just be prepared for different people take these sorts of things differently.