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  1. #1

    People's communcation just sucks now a days!

    If I had a dollar for every wasted hour of my life clearing up other people's problems or dealing with other people's poor communication skills.

    Latest one. Guy I had bought hay from a couple previous years was a bit of a doozey. Offered to deliver if I paid cash, ok fine. Would bring hay out in ridiculous half broken equipment that could best be described as a "broken circus wagon." Broke down in a shared driveway one year, pissing off neighbors and us. 2 days lost of work/time that go around.

    This year, new guy. Typical older country guy, wants to tell me his fricking life story every time on the phone. "I'll be out there such and such day"- me "OK definitely call me first, always call me first so I can ride over there and meet you." Replies sure.

    Misses that day. Get a call later, big long explanation, wife is sick. "OK no problem, tend to your wife and I can wait a few weeks, no problem."

    I don't call him, text him, etc. after this. Why? Cause I'm trying to be respectful and definitely not rush the man.

    A week or so later he calls "I'm in town and will bring it out after a while." OK I say, I'll stop what I'm doing now that I know that, drive over and wait for you.

    It's a ten minute drive and he made a point to drive out there unannounced once before "just to see where it's at." Which I told him was fine, just "don't bring that banged up circus wagon please. It broke down in a shared driveway a few years ago and pissed my neighbors off to no end. And it took 2 days for the other guy that get everything squared away (with a ton of help/time from all of us)". Note the other guy was his employee.

    Wait all day. Call him around 3pm, this is now about 5 hours since he said he was coming. "I'm waiting on my contractor..." Told him I absolutely have to hear from him if it won't be today. "Sure." Nothing.

    6pm I sent him text and said "can't wait any longer, already missed two client meetings this afternoon. I'll be around tomorrow morning if you want to try then call me."

    Blah blah blah text blah so sorry blah blah don't care don't care. Then a "I plan to be at farm Tuesday to get this fixed."

    Keep in mind this is now the 2nd DAY he has kept me waiting around, missing work, etc.

    I simply reply "OK"

    Tuesday comes, wait around a bit over there, no calls, no texts. I got stuff to do for the other old people I have to deal with- the ones that actually matter to me.

    An hour later he calls me, I'm standing in the courthouse taking care of some family business.

    He's garbled but I can discern that the idiot just simply drove out there on his own and is riding around. I tell him where I am at, that it will be several hours, and some simple instructions on where to leave it. He goes on and on with that BS superficial old southern gentlemen BS like he didn't just mess up big time and cause me even more grief. He's leaving town again and acts all like "oh don't worry about money just yet..."

    I go by there later. Trailer is in a stupid place, it's one of those gigantic things, no way for me to move to where it's needed to be, etc.

    Now I've told this guy that I spent one day this week already in hospital with a relative, one other relative is recovering from surgery, another sick, etc. AND I was extremely patient with his problem.
    And I told the schmoe when I was standing in the courthouse there was no way I could give this done in the next day or so.

    So after all the superficial southern gentlemen BS, what happens, a few hours later that same day after he showed up unannounced he texts me "did you unload trailer yet I need to leave?" I think Are you fricking serious??? I remind him what I said in the courthouse and how there was no way this could happen today, maybe even tomorrow. Then I get a text- "brother in law and friend were coming tomorrow to get rest of hay so I'll need the trailer..."

    I've been by there, the idiot came during a thunderstorm and left the hay on the trailer uncovered. It's rained like cats and dogs since he showed up unexpected and unannounced. Last year's hay from them was mid grade at best, now this is soaked.

    Tell him ok brother/friend whoever the hell, absolutely positively has to call me ahead of time and we can maybe pull the trailer to where the hay is needed and shove off by hand (backhoe now has flat tire). Tell him we cannot have any more crazy mixups.

    He responses with "when I text you last week I said I would come tuesday." Nothing about calling first, just do whatever the hell is convenient for him. And of course I was supposed to believe he would actually show THE THIRD TIME and wait around losing a third day of work/time.

    That last text really pissed me off. This dude has slung crap all over me three times now and is trying to make it out like he gave me key lime pie instead.

    A day later- now keep in mind he's told me brother/friend will show up for trailer this day- he texts me this long text again trying to make a crap sandwich into key lime pie and now he's also bringing up his sick wife, let me know when I can pick up the trailer..."

    My reply- "Come and get everything. They/you will need to be here before 2pm I have work I miss when I'm waiting around all day. Was in the hospital all day Monday, X just had surgery. I understand your issues but I was there waiting for two other days you were going to come missing work and income."

    He replies with where to send money to (keep in mind it's the day after he showed up unannounced and went through the "take your time" BS on the phone).

    I call him- "listen just come and get this right now. The hay is still on the trailer soaking wet from the thunderstorm you brought it in yesterday. We aren't doing this nonsense. I have too much real stress going on and it sounds like you do also, neither of us need any more BS."

    Back peddles, hits me with all the southern gentlemen BS... Starts dropping names, "I grew up around there"- NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT CRAP ANYMORE AND CERTAINLY NOT AFTER YOU JUST SCREWED THEM SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY!!!! You just look like an idiot when you start doing that after messing up so bad!

    "OK partner that's great, let's not re-write history. You said you would call first, you didn't. You expected me to believe you would come on Tuesday after wasting two fricking days of my time previously. You brought these out unannounced during a thunderstorm. You acted on the phone like "no rush" then you start harassing me on texts about it immediately afterwards. Come and get this crap, I'm not waiting around for you any more."

    Blah blah blah, more superficial BS, name dropping. "That's great sir, I've been in business almost three decades, communications is everything. You showed a serious lack of communications before, I've dealt with BS every single time your guy came out here for some very simple tasks. You tell me you realize you showed up unannounced and no rush, blah blah blah, then within a few hours your harassing me about it. You throw up your wife's sick, but your not the only one dealing with crap like that, some of us just don't broadcast it to the world. I'm done with this whole thing. Your brother/friend whoever the hell just have them call me at least 2 hours ahead and I'll meet them to pick up this."

    All this "neighbor, neighbor" name dropping and superficial southern gentlemen BS doesn't jive with his walk. I realize a good part of a generation got by on all that crap but it doesn't work anymore. I don't give a damn who's name you drop, how you talk flowery when it doesn't fit your actions and how you use your problems as excuses but will not accept that anyone else may be going through the same crap or more.

    Communications, it isn't tough, just usually requires doing it and then being consistent.

    On text, this guy was the Supreme Commander of A-hole Forces, on the phone oh the BS southern charm..... sweet potatoes, bless your heart and all that drivel. Doesn't match up. Got defensive when I called him on his BS. That's life folks, your going to be called on your BS, no matter if your 46 or 74, if your screwing someone and trying to tell them it's honey, they are going to call you on it!
    Last edited by Lowdown3; 10-30-2019 at 03:25 PM.

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  2. #2
    Damn, I run across them but fortunately, not very often.
    What's that phrase from the movie? Oh Ya.
    Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining!

  3. #3
    Manufacturer of Hater-Aide Mannlicher's Avatar
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    I do my best to avoid toxic people

  4. #4
    Bu they magically appear at the damndest times and places. <grin>

  5. #5
    Administrator protus's Avatar
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    Easiest way to rub my baby makers raw.
    Tell me you'll meet/be at X by Y time.
    No show,no call, or be extremely late or even better " on my way " but show up 4 hours late.
    It tells me you dont give 2 rats about my time etc.
    And a good " get @#$% " will be my nicest reply.
    Hey Petunia...you dropped your man pad!

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by protus View Post
    Easiest way to rub my baby makers raw.
    Tell me you'll meet/be at X by Y time.
    No show,no call, or be extremely late or even better " on my way " but show up 4 hours late.
    It tells me you dont give 2 rats about my time etc.
    And a good " get @#$% " will be my nicest reply.
    That's basically it right there.

    "Well I'm retired so I could GAF about other people's time." He all but said that.

    Well I'm done with this sort of thing. Idiot brought it unannounced, left it in a thunderstorm, and tried to tell me he was giving me pecan pie when he was crapping all over me. When I told him days ago "come and get it, I'm done, not taking it" he did his damnedest to get me to keep his crap. After the no rush, it will be a while before I can come, etc. Wanted to show up on a day when I specifically told him we had doc appts. Told him "if you can meet me there no BS before 11am" then he lost it. You'll love this reply-

    "Robert- I don't know you but man to man, regardless of your perception at my point in life and values I have need to shoot you BS. I have tried to be neighborly and have no understanding of you attitude. Had enough just please let me in to get trailer and that will be that..."

    Notice I bolded "perception"- it was my "perception" that he left me hanging three days and that his Southern Gentlemen BS didn't match his demanding a-hole'ish behavior.

    I responded with "Not a problem be there before 11am and call when you are thirty minutes out like we have discussed many times before."

    His final response- "got the message on the permission calls"

    I really wanted to respond with "What you call "permission" is called common courtesy to everyone else on the planet." But instead decided to let it go.

    They hit my gate on the way out. Southern Gentleman "grew up around there" "neighbor" INDEED! Clearly knew they hit it and just left.

    How many people get swindled by this kind of talk? How many people lose DAYS of their lives to waiting on people like this, receive shotty work/product and just go on with it because of all this BS talk?? I've noticed that with people around here. Everyone does the flowery so and so it ok, knows this other 'neck, goes to such and such church, etc. But with people you actually know, you find out the real deal on the person.

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  7. #7
    You are not alone. The small town where I live is full of those types. First, get someone to return your phone call. Last year, I called someone to do some repairs to my house. He worked for two partial days and I never heard from him again. This is someone that I had used before and helped him and his worker out in some lean times. I always pay him in cash. I ended up finishing the job myself. He is a FL native. Currently, I’m waiting for the local car dealer to call me back to get my windshield replaced. 6 working days so-far, no call yet. Similar problem with chimney sweep. When he finally showed-up, he said that I shouldn’t have waited so late in the season. I reminded him that my original call was in July. Dumb look in response. He forgot a part that we talked about too. BTW, he’s from Michigan. I am on the 3rd tree guy this year. The first two won’t return phone calls. My neighbor from FL told me to get used to it, that’s how business is done here.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Bill Foster View Post
    You are not alone. The small town where I live is full of those types. First, get someone to return your phone call. Last year, I called someone to do some repairs to my house. He worked for two partial days and I never heard from him again. This is someone that I had used before and helped him and his worker out in some lean times. I always pay him in cash. I ended up finishing the job myself. He is a FL native. Currently, I’m waiting for the local car dealer to call me back to get my windshield replaced. 6 working days so-far, no call yet. Similar problem with chimney sweep. When he finally showed-up, he said that I shouldn’t have waited so late in the season. I reminded him that my original call was in July. Dumb look in response. He forgot a part that we talked about too. BTW, he’s from Michigan. I am on the 3rd tree guy this year. The first two won’t return phone calls. My neighbor from FL told me to get used to it, that’s how business is done here.
    And of course then they all complain about money being tight. I got a bright idea- do business right and it won't be!!!

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  9. #9
    Administrator protus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowdown3 View Post
    And of course then they all complain about money being tight. I got a bright idea- do business right and it won't be!!!
    When we 1st bought our place, about a year into it. We had a tree come down. Only reason i didn't handle was, it was half on our outbuilding etc, and my chainsaw fu was weak.
    So, since ive dealt with contractors all my adult life,i let the wife handle it as a learning experience.
    It turned into one. Lmao.
    Between my wife, the wife/secretary of the owner, on site crew, and owner the communication was like Chinese lol.
    Anway... we used this contractor because he was a local.
    Come end of the half arsed removal....i get a call.
    Guy wants cash, office girl back peddles on payment agreements, my wife is wtf do i do. Owners standing there in my yard 430 on a friday giving my wife the boohoo i got bills and crew to pay.....
    So i get put on the phone, tell the dude not my problem, plus im not there to sign off on the job etc. Told him he'd have to wait till i get home before payment( 6pm).
    He wasnt happy...he got paid but im sure it cut into the number of bush lights his crew could suck down...on " pay day ".

    Other local guy did the same to my FIL at his place down the road.

    I just dont trust half these lazy bums.
    Hey Petunia...you dropped your man pad!

  10. #10
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    I am sitting here just laughing at all of this - the frustrations of dealing with unfamiliar cultures are all too familiar. After I moved south 20+ years ago, it took me a year to understand why there were magazines at the end of every checkout line; it was to placate and entertain me while I stood behind customers visiting with cashiers about their moms, aunts, cousins, children, the weather, etc. It's the same dealing with any local businesses. Sometimes they show up as requested, sometimes it takes a few calls before the communication between me and the office person gets cleared up and my request actually gets logged. I'm seldom in good humor at the end....and all my efforts to be gracious are lost in a hail of verbal blasts I have, however, learned patience at the grocery store...

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